That's Life

Sometimes There’s Poop

Sometimes There’s Poop


If there is one thing I have learned from this adventure in mom-ing it is that sometimes there’s poop. I won’t get into how much this has been true, it’s too early in the morning to discuss this topic in-depth. I bring it up as it relates to our most recent adventure with how much poop (in general) is now fully present in our lives.

Gone Fishin’

Yesterday Matt took the boys fishing in the pond in our neighborhood. He could see that I would really benefit from an hour or so of a quiet house. So he got them ready, packed up their Jeep and they headed out. If I haven’t mentioned it previously, I have the absolute privilege of having a husband who is an incredibly involved dad. He often looks way more competent at handling two wild little men than I do that’s for sure. Maybe it’s his willingness to roll on the floor, be hit in the head and have the strength to fly them around the house like airplanes for an hour. Either way, lucky me, lucky boys.

So off they go. Fishing gear assembled and ready for their adventure. I tried to set aside my fears of one of them ending up in the pond and just enjoy the quiet.

Fast forward to lunch time and they come rushing back into the house like a herd of wild animals. Running and yelling and laughing and climbing up on my bed and jumping all over it and me while they talk about the fish they caught that was bigger than me.

The Poop

A minute or so later my husband Matt rushes into the room telling them to take their sneakers off, someone stepped in dog poop. Oh…my…Lord. Come on. I look at my freshly laundered sheets and my previously made bed and I’m watching Owen (age 2) jumping on Matt’s pillow as we speak, shoes on. I hadn’t noticed his shoes because Sean’s (age 4) were off already. This was a mistake.

There was now poop in my clean, cozy, comfortable, high thread count space. And I was gagging. I couldn’t see any visible signs of it other than one small spot, but that scared me more. So off came the duvet and cover, off came the blanket, off came the sheets and pillow cases and mattress protector and every other possible removable surface in my entire bedroom that they may have touched or even looked at. It all had to go. I was just horrified.

Some Lessons Learned & Action Items

  1. Always make it to the door before the wild animals
  2. Discuss (again) the importance of shoes coming off before entering the home
  3. Buy a bench for the garage to facilitate shoes coming off
  4. Institute a reward system for shoes coming off
  5. Create consequences for shoes not coming off
  6. Buy a fire pit to burn sheets and blankets when poop happens again (because let’s be honest, it will)
  7. Check and double-check both sets of feet for shoes before allowing my bed to become a trampoline
  8. Never underestimate the presence of poop…it’s always there…waiting to pop up when you least expect it

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